My Dear Little Man, 02/08/2016

My Dear Little Man,

I write this at the end of a long day and I'm pretty irritated about nothing really important. I think it's been one of those days where small things just added up and, combined with fatigue, yo mama is ready to punch a wall.

That said, you had some pretty stinking adorable moments today. As well as being pretty cranky yourself. I've already mentioned that both of your bottom teeth have come in and are continuing to grow. You've only bitten me twice and have been pretty good about not biting people in general. You continue to try new pureed foods with admirable gusto. You are starting to develop a very small bump where your upper left incisor is slowly pushing through.

You are rolling over in your sleep! This was an exciting and slightly disconcerting achievement. Fortunately we started training you to sleep on your back as soon as you started rolling, so we put you down on your back and you end up on your stomach. Also fortunately, you seem to sleep better on your stomach in general. Naturally as I type this, you are squawking in bed even though we put you down 30 minutes ago.

I just went in to check on you. You rotated 90 degrees, on your back, perpendicular to the crib and had your head and feet pressed against the sides of the crib. Did I mention you've been wiggling all over the place?

It doesn't take much time at all now for you to be put down on your back and flip over. You seem to enjoy rolling over, though you hate ending up on your stomach. You seem to particularly enjoy rolling over when we are cleaning your ears or changing your diaper. I'm hoping you'll continue stretching your body and exploring and learn to roll from your back to your stomach soon.

As far as sleep goes, your nighttime sleep is quite lovely. We usually put you down at 7pm and typically go until 5am before you start waking. I feed you for about 15 minutes, Dad does a diaper change, and we put you back down for another 2-3 hours. We've really been working on improving your naps lately and I think increasing your waketime is working. For example, Your first "wake" is fairly brief, 5am-5:45am. Then usually 8-9:30ish, 12ish-2:30ish, and 4ish to 7pm. The past few days you've slept about 2 hours for each of your naps and have been able to put yourself back to sleep (or even sleep through!) the 45-60 minute mark as you're transitioning through sleep cycles. The other AMAZING thing is that when you're appropriately tired, have been fed, and have a new diaper, I can lay you down awake and you'll quietly chatter for a few minutes and then fall asleep. Sometimes you just fall right asleep. It's quite lovely.

We've started cloth diapering you at night again. It seems a combination of a pocket diaper with a prefold, hemp doubler, and wool doubler do the job. It's bulky but it keeps leaks contained and continues to pull moisture away from you. We usually cover it with wool pants.

Overall you are an adorable, chunky, happy and eager to smile baby. You get a lot of attention wherever you go and you usually have a toothy wide grin to flash. My favorite is when you're sleepy and I hold you. You tend to curl up and "koala" against my chest, with your head tucked under my chin and your hand and arm tucked behind mine. I LOVE rubbing my cheek against your soft hair (which is an interesting reddish gold color!) and smooching your chubby cheeks. You are such a healthy big boy!

And, blessedly, you are now asleep!

Snotti-Potti

About two weeks ago now Michelle, Anderson, and I went to Dinner with few colleagues. The host family has two kids (about 1 and 3 years old) and the other family has a little girl who is about Anderson's age (almost 5 months now!). Dinner was delicious (taco salad spearheaded by Michelle) and the company (Duffy's and Townsend's) were great. However, the events that ensued were abysmal. Of the six adults and four children there, all but three people got sick (it's possible that we were all sick before the dinner but I suspect someone there spread the 'whatever we all had'). Fortunately Anderson and I seemed somewhat immune but Michelle and the others got hit really hard.

My adviser Lauren sounded like an old man for two weeks, the other faculty Jasmine was coughing out at a lung (and her son also, coincidentally had contracted pneumonia and was coughing till he threw up -- so sad), and Michelle was super congested to the point that some nights she would be up at 2:00am and not be able to get back to sleep (because of the blockage and pain in her sinuses).

To add insult to injury, we had a 'blizzard' (maybe five inches of snow over night that melted off within 24 hours) come through town that basically shut everything down which meant campus was closed (yay for me, boo for Michelle) and therefore the campus health center, Redfern, where we get our checkups done, was also closed. Since Redfern was out of the picture we spent an hour or two looking up and contacting 'in-network' and 'out-of-network' providers to see if anyone could see Michelle before the weekend and of course even though it was 10:00am and no snow had actually fallen yet (it wouldn't actually start until 3:00pm that afternoon) every family practice or provider in the area was closed.

I can't say that I blame them. The roads and driving here are pretty terrible under the best of circumstances and this area so rarely gets any snow that they don't have the infrastructure (salt, plows, etc.) to respond to it effectively. Our apartment complex responded proactively by salting the night before the snow was supposed to come which was great because all of the morning rain washed it off so that when things froze two days later I could slip and fall on my butt on the way to campus.

The one great thing about all of this was that I had one or two pretty flexible, low key work weeks which allowed me to be home with Anderson and Michelle more and help care for Anderson and Michelle so she could both get a break and heal. It spoiled me, so I've been trying to figure out how I can work from home more.

Michelle was sick (congested, groggy, sore throat) for nearly two weeks and we suspected everything from croup, to bronchitis, to strep but when she finally got in to Redfern to be seen it was supposedly just a bacterial thing and she was able to take a prescription (or two or three) to beat it. Her arsenal of cough drops and medications was quite impressive but the most 'fun' treatment she tried pretty regularly was the Neti-pot (which I call a Snotti-Potti). If you have never seen or used a Neti-pot (Snotti-Potti) it basically looks like a small genie lamp that you fill with a saline-water solution and then drain through one nostril and out the other. As the solution pours through the nose the snot and gunk are supposed to drain out with it. When Michelle first did it,  it looked so burny-painful and there is just something about seeing someone stand in front of the mirror with a genie lamp in there nose and a flood of snot water dripping from their nostrils into the sink that has a certain...what's the word...appeal :).

Being the good husband I am and after the tenth request from Michelle I agreed to try the Neti-pot (for empathy purposes, if nothing else). It was the worst! And I don't think I did it right/fully drained my nose/sinuses because three hours later after using it, when I bent over to plug in my phone, a flood of water came running out again. I went and blew my nose and thought for sure I had cleared everything out. But then I got in bed and rolled over to face Michelle and there it went again. Snotti-Potti! It was not fun and made me realize how much of a pain it had really been for Michelle to deal with that in addition to all that she already does for Anderson and I.

Anyways, we are all healthy and well again now, hoping for some more snow so I can cancel class and stay home. Pray for bad weather and good health. Thanks.  

Bedtime Stories

Michelle and I are avid readers and one of the things I looked forward to about being a dad, establishing bedtime routines, etc. was the chance to read to and with Anderson. I remember my mom reading to us at nights (classics like I'll Love you Forever, the Giving Tree, and as we got older The Call of the Beaver or the Hatchet) and how as a teen I would sneak out back to my hammock to escape to Hogwarts, Battle School, or Dragonmount (I'm only now realizing how much of a Harry Potter fantasy junky I was).

When I first started reading to Anderson he seemed disinterested, if not annoyed to say the least (infants, pfff). I decided to hold off on reading until he was a little more mentally, physically, and emotionally mature so his first interactions with books and reading would be positive. My patience was rewarded and now our little man loves to read his daily book with dad. I think what he enjoys most about it is hearing the inflections of my voice and having me sit or lay beside him as I turn the pages. He often will look at me more than he looks at the book and smiles when I turn to face him as I read from the pages of some of my favorite texts.

I've become a big Jon Muth fan. The themes and illustrations in his books are fantastic and based in his experiences living among and learning from monks and zen masters. Thus, each story has a lesson and there is almost always a wise teacher character to be learned from. I highly recommend his books Stone Soup, Zen Ghosts, and Zen Shorts (among others).

As an afterthought, I know computers, cell phones, etc. are a huge part of our lives and will inevitably have a greater hold in the lives of Anderson and his peers than they ever have in ours (despite our best efforts to help him moderate their use), but I hope he learns first to read, imagine, and enjoy some of the more tangible aspects of books and life before linking into the virtual world. Here's my prayer for you Anderson: learn to love reading printed books, to play outside, and to build real social connections.

Love Dad

The Nursing Saga

This post has been a long (long long long long) time in the works. Now that we've progressed through most of the frustrations, I find that I am more inclined to actually document the experience even though the lapsed time has allowed the passions and frustrations to fade. As with many of the pregnancy/post partum posts, this will be very open and frank about my experience. In other words, it may be a little too much information for some of the readers :)

To start with, I am a huge advocate of breastfeeding. I think the benefits to mother and child are great and the breastfeeding relationship should be continued as long as is possible and appropriate. That said, breastfeeding can be hard! I knew that before having Anderson, but the intricacies of the challenges were surprising to me. Additionally, many of our challenges are a little more unusual (serious oversupply and let down, food protein sensitivities) so it was harder to find information and support. I did find KellyMom, an online nursing support platform, to be the most helpful resource.

Anderson latched on without a problem less than 30 minutes after delivery. And then he slept for hours and hours and hours, not even wanting to wake to feed. The nursing staff (at the hospital of course) was a little anxious about this, but I wish I hadn't worried so much. He was a very healthy weight and had no complications. When we got home he wanted to feed and feed and feed. He still had a great latch, but he was sucking so hard he gave me blisters. I honestly have no idea if this caused my oversupply. He was born on Thursday and my milk came in with a vengeance on Saturday. Milk typically comes in 3-5 days post-partum. I prepared lactation cookies to snack on during feedings which may have also contributed to oversupply. Any way, I had SO MUCH MILK. MILK EVERYWHERE. And apparently a little curse called a forceful letdown. In short, I had a ton of milk that came out really hard and fast. Which is hard for little Anderson to handle.

I was worried about plugged ducts and mastitis, and felt all the advice I was getting wasn't very helpful. I understand now that advice just never seems helpful when you have unique problems. It seemed that if I manually massaged the plugged ducts to break them up, it increased my supply. Taking warm shower increased my supply. Eating oatmeal and flax increased my supply. etc etc etc.

My breasts were so swollen and painful that I ended up pumping a little off the top each day. Yes, pumping can increase supply, but I started with a massive supply and figured I'd rather deal with continued oversupply than mastitis.

After a couple of weeks I was pumping around 30 ounces a day in addition to feeding Anderson. This wasn't too bad for awhile; it allowed us to build up a freezer supply of milk and I was still recovering from delivery. However, around a month and a half it started to get old. I'd get so swollen in between pumping and feedings! I gradually dropped two pumpings and then quit cold turkey. At that point Anderson was 15 lbs and was having some crazy diapers (another post on food sensitivities is coming eventually). One of the lactation consultants/nurses at the pediatrician's office thought his diapers were caused by oversupply/feeding. Basically, he was eating a Thanksgiving meal every feed. Quitting pumping cold turkey was a little uncomfortable for a few days, but not anywhere as painful as the engorgement during the first few weeks of nursing.

Up until this point Anderson had continued to latch on beautifully (with the exception of when milk was spraying everywhere. Think lactating fountains of Italy, I kid you not. Milk spraying feet in all directions. Out of control). However, as my supply began to regulate, Anderson had more and more difficulty latching and feeding. I did tons of research and decided tongue and lip tie were likely the culprits. The pediatrician's office ascribed his issues (pulling off, diapers, arching back, discomfort, etc to reflux). So, I took Anderson in to a pediatric dentist who had a lot of experience and has performed many frenectomies. I explained what I suspected and asked her to take a look. I had previously spent HOURS researching the different methods of frenectomies and how to properly diagnose them, and had a long list of questions for the pediatrician to "test" her knowledge and experience. I was quite pleased when she answered all of the questions I had without my even asking them. When she examined Anderson, she did so properly (unlike the pediatrician!), with Anderson on my knees, feet pointed toward my stomach, and dentist at his head, looking into his mouth. She said he had a thick tongue tie as well as lip tie, and that it could definitely be affecting his nursing. *sidenote: my pediatrician said he only had a small lip tie and she can usually "snip them quickly" in the office. GAAAHHHH!!!!!

We scheduled the frenectomy for a few weeks later so the dentist could use the newer laser she was waiting on. It was a fairly quick procedure and took about a week to heal. Anderson can now keep a pacifier in, though he doesn't love them. One downside of the frenectomy is I think he developed an oral aversion at first. He didn't want anything going in his mouth. We've worked on making "mouth time" a pleasant experience for him since then, and now he loves putting everything in his mouth. Except he doesn't like sucking on pacifiers.

He is now 4.5 months old and I finally feel like nursing is the peaceful bonding time it has the potential to be. I am no longer engorged beyond belief (I'm now down to a 28J size, instead of a 32H/I and it is SO HARD to find a store that sells that size!!!! Fail Motherhood Maternity, Fail.), and while I still have a forceful letdown, it doesn't last for several minutes. Anderson is still easily distracted during feedings, but we've managed to find ways to alleviate this problem (nursing in darker rooms, waiting until he's really hungry, using a nursing cover, having a noise machine going).

AND, now that we've addressed most of his food sensitivities, things are a lot better with his diapers. For awhile it seemed like he was feeding just so he could fill a diaper. He would feed then bite down (even baby gums still hurt!) and pull as he strained his body. It was not a fun experience for anyone involved, and I remember many nursing sessions where he was hungry and crying and straining to have a bowel movement, and I was spraying milk everywhere and crying and feeling inadequate.

*sigh.

I think ultimately there were several factors that played into our struggles: oversupply and forceful letdown, food allergies and crazy bowel movements, frenectomy and latching, and time and Anderson's physiological capacity to take in larger quantities of milk.

One of the most frustrating aspects was the lack of concern from my pediatrician's office. Anderson was having 8 blowouts of mucousy green grossness a day, nursing was a struggle, and he was clearly uncomfortable. BUT he was in the 95th percentile for weight and height, so he clearly wasn't failing to thrive. His doctor seemed to assume that since he was a healthy weight, things were just fine. The thing is, I have a really high fat content in my milk, and even though he only nurses 10 minutes (max!), the forceful let down increases his intake in a short amount of time. Again, I'll write a post about his food allergies later.

BUT. We've fired the pediatrian, found a new one, addressed the bulk of his sensitivities, and given everything time. Additionally, we are not giving Anderson any reflux meds. WIN! And nursing is a bonding experience, WIN! Anderson now takes time to occasionally unlatch and just sit and smile or chatter at me before resuming feeding. And he is happy and healthy, WIN WIN WIN.

As far as supply challenges, every mother has such an individual experience. I can't imagine being in the place of a mother who struggles with undersupply and the anxiety of not being able to provide enough milk for her baby. Or struggling with inverted nipples and latch and having to use a nipple shield. But I can totally commiserate with mothers who choke their babies with too much milk, flooding their little mouths with greater quantities of food than they can handle. I understand the pain associated with plugged ducts and the worry of mastitis (though I managed to avoid that malady!). I will say, oversupply is a fairly uncommon condition and it's really hard to find helpful information. I finally did something called "block feeding", where I'd feed only from one side for a few hours, then switch to the other side. I can't pump or else my glands will kick into high gear again. And going out takes some planning. Even though we still have a massive freezer supply of milk, I have to nurse Anderson or else I'll become engorged again. I also have to be careful of what I eat- high carb foods seem to increase my supply to uncomfortable levels. I've had a cold the past week and have taken pseudoephedrine and phenylephrine without a dip in supply. I shower with a peppermint shower gel without a dip in supply. Three hundred years ago I would have been the wetnurse and fed village after village!!!

And lastly, Garrett has been amazing and supportive and wonderful through all of the nursing adventures. It's been a little hard for both of us since he can't feed Anderson the way I need too, but he's been with us every step of the way, and has done so much research to understand and get ideas to troubleshoot. Garrett also took middle of the night diaper duty after we weaned Anderson from middle of the night feedings. And to clarify, Garrett took diaper duty after I would feed Anderson each time, but also continued diaper duty after weaning. Fortunately we've gotten into a feeding routine that has mostly weaned Anderson from middle of the night soiled diapers. Garrett is a companion and parent, not just a helper and supporter. And I love him so much!

Welp. This turned into a novel. All this said, I'm going to go smooch Garrett and check Anderson's diaper :)

My Dear Little Man, 1/23/2016

My Dear Little Man,

You can officially roll both ways! Last Monday you rolled from stomach to back. Yesterday you rolled back to stomach (which took you greater effort, due to your adorable belly). You've also quickly learned how to navigate and maneuver by arching your back around while simultaneously kicking your legs against the floor. My child, you are a speedy little scooter!

We've been working on naps still. Your night time sleep has been amazing for the past week, with sleep from 7-5ish. It's come at a really good time, since I've been laid out with something nasty since Tuesday evening. Your naps though.... you are victim to the 45 minute intruder. We've been doing graduated cry-it-out through the duration of when we'd like you to get up (usually at the 2 hour naptime mark). I've also started the routine of feed-wake-sleep, in the hopes that you can learn to sleep when you're tired, without the aid of food (which sometimes causes spitups/burps) to help you sleep. We will give it several more days and see how things progress!

Yesterday was your first experience with snow. I've been sick and stayed inside, but Dad bundled you up and took you outside. He put your hand on the snow covered car and in no time you grabbed a handful and had it on the way to your mouth. Since our car isn't very clean, Dad had to quickly intercept.

AND. Your diapers continue to progress! Huzzah! Since your allergy treatments, we've pinpointed a few other sensitivities. Whenever we make homemade baked goods you have a reaction (gluten?), and nuts do the same thing. Next week I'll test out which nuts are the culprits.

We've let you try some solids the past week. We tried oatmeal at first (you were not a fan), then avocado. You took much better to the avocado. I added some salt to the next oatmeal try-out and you actually ate! We tried some sweet potato last night and it was a no-go. I'm trying to figure out a way we can get you sitting up on a chair or a flat surface of some kind (we don't have room in our apartment for a table or chairs) so you can feed yourself without making such a huge mess.

We rearranged our apartment a little bit last week. Your room was just too crowded (with a bookshelf, futon/couch, crib, desk, diaper changing station, etc etc. And we had a lot of nice space in our room. Additionally, your room is closer to the street and parked cars. And the redneck monster trucks that go roaring around without mufflers during your naptime. So. Dad measured and discovered a difference of 5". Let me tell you bud, 5" makes a huge difference in rooms! We took a few hours  last Saturday to swap furniture around. Dad and I have few enough pieces that fewer inches doesn't make a big difference. But boy, it made a huge difference for your room! Your diaper changing station doesn't share space with the closet door, which is great. We also moved the couch/futon out to the living room (and rearranged the living room to accommodate it, also an improvement) so we could move the rocking chair into your room. All in all, our apartment feels more homey, spacious, and is more conducive to our needs.

Lastly, you have been chatting and laughing more. We love it so much! And we love you!

Dear Little Man, 01/16/2016

My Dear Little Man!!!

Today you rolled over for the first time. I mean, completely by yourself. Of course it was right after I put you down for a nap in your knock off zippy sleep sack. I wondered why your crying got louder and more clear after 15 minutes, and when I went to check, you were laying there on your back! You are a devoted tummy sleeper so it will be interesting to see how/if we can train you to back sleep.

I suspect the zippy kept your arms closer to your body, which is what's prevented you from rolling before. You also have a tendency to settle into your sleep position only after squirming around a little bit. This typically entails sticking your cute little bum in the air and tucking your knees under. It would have taken only a little sideways motion from there to send you over. Excited to see how you progress!

In other news, we gave you pureed oatmeal yesterday. You did not seem to be a fan. You scrunched your face on every bite. We tried avocado again tonight and you ate a whole slice! I need to work on mashing better or pureeing since some of the chunks give you difficulty.

I had originally planned on exclusively breastfeeding until 6 mos, but you have been veeeery interested in what we are eating. I'll probably introduce pureed veggies next.

I gotta say my little feller, you are a pretty happy and chill dude. We love you!

Dear Little Man, 01/15/2016

My Dear Little Man,

I meant to write these each week.... Maybe every 2 or 3?

Noteworthy things occurring involve nearly rolling over! You are so close to rolling over both ways. When we start you out on your stomach you scrunch your legs under you and twist sideways. The only thing keeping you from flipping right over is your stabilizing arm that you keep firmly perpendicular to your body. When on your back, you like to arch back and look at what's behind you (most often and inconveniently during diaper changes). You've come so close to rolling over multiple times, but as soon as you start to tip you straighten back out. You also engage in adorable back time, where you grab your toes and try to put them in your mouth. Sometimes you do this while rolling onto your side. We've recently implemented 10-15 minutes of clothes/diaper free playtime in the morning and evenings so you can roll around without restrictions. Thank goodness we registered for a waterproof babypad!

You've become a lot more vocal as well, and it's a lot of fun to hear you chattering away and realize you are making noises at dad or me. And!!! You've become quite the little snuggle bug. ESPECIALLY when you're sleepy or have just woken up. I think this is due, in part, do your ever-increasing ability to use your hands and arms and pull things close to you. Your hair continues to grow (a blondish red color), and you have the funniest little fuzz-halo in the sun. I love rubbing my face on your head right after you've woken up. As dad would say, "Oxytocin!!!"

We've been doing some practice sitting time with you this week. After the first couple of sideways falls, you caught on pretty quick. You tend to lean forward and slightly over one knee, and seem to enjoy rolling sideways from that position.

We also introduced your first ever solid food! You've been very curious when we eat and lean forward with an open mouth. So, after doing a little research, we decided to start with oatmeal, rice, and avocado. Avocado is the only one we've actually given you, but it seemed to be a hit. We've decided to let you decide when and what to eat (within reason), and promise not to "force" new foods. BUT we are going to introduce vegetables and blander foods first, mwahaha. We'll be waiting on the sweeter fruits for awhile.

We had your four month immunizations last week and you were a champ. You cried for less than 2 minutes and resumed your "normal" schedule that day.

Speaking of schedules.... You are now sleeping 7pm-4:30/5am about 2 nights in a row. And then you wake up around 1 or 3 that third night. But it is a definite improvement from what it used to be! And you usually wake up for a nursing and quick change and then go back down for another hour or two. Naptime is a work in progress. We've adjusted you to a 3.5-4 hour schedule and are trying to figure out how to space your naps. Right now we have a 2 hour nap in the late morning and early afternoon, but flounder a bit in the late afternoon. You are not a fan of catnaps but you drag a little during that last wakeful stretch.

Lastly, we got you a new convertible carseat this week that should last you until you're 65 pounds. You seem to like it a little better; it's more padded and puts you up a little higher in the car.

We love you so much and are excited to see what things you'll be up to next.

Anderson's first....and second....and third loves

We discovered this week that Anderson may have a secret crush! He obviously has been crushing hard on his mommy (and maybe his dad as a close second) since birth but little did we know that he would have hist first sloppy wet kiss last Sunday. Her name was Avy (short for Avalanche, see below) and she just so happens to be a well-mannered dog who really likes breastmilk. While I don't personally enjoy or condone having a dog lick my face it was quite amusing to watch Avy lick the milk off of Anderson's lips (right now you, like my dad, are probably gagging a little at the thought....unless you are a major dog lover, in which case, you may be jealous). The funny thing is, Anderson was loving it too! He was giggling and opening his mouth and everything. However, I had to draw the line when he started sticking his tongue out. He's a little too young for French Kissing. 

His newest fling is a little red, black, and white caterpillar (see below). Whenever I stick it near or in his face and make smooching/kiss sounds he starts laughing hysterically. It's quite hilarious. Videos coming soon!

 

Yeast infection. Ugh.

Little man has had quite the rash for the last two weeks and until recently it was getting worse and worse. Not knowing exactly what it was or how to treat it we thought for sure we were going to have a Lance Armstrong on our hands (Lance had an orchiectomy—surgical removal of his testicle). That said we went through a variety of topical treatments and multiple pediatrician visits before we seemed to have finally hit the sweet spot.

As we have been trying different ointments, creams, and even browned 'white' flour we've had some horrifying experiences. The worst of them (in my book, Michelle may or may not agree) was our first pediatrician visit. I knew it was going to be a bad visit from the start, when it took longer than an hour for us to be seen. Then the doctor walked in and Michelle gave me the bug eyes that said, "this is the kook (crazy person) I talked to on the phone the other night" so that was fun. Apparently they had given us an incorrect name so we ended up asking for the very doctor we had hoped to avoid. He was a bit older and probably due for retirement (I have no problem with age or the experience that it typically engenders but this fella was well past his prime, doing a job that requires a little gusto and a steady hand and mind). The real problem was that he walked in and hopped straight on his computer, then proceeded to touch our son's undiagnosed genital rash with his unwashed, bare hands and then went straight back to typing on his computer. Don't worry, it gets better. He told us it was likely a yeast infection rather than a typical irritation rash and then stuck the still unwashed hand that he had fondled our yeasty kid with into his mouth and was sucking on his finger. While I was disgusted for him I couldn't help but think, where else has that hand been, who else has he been touching and what might he be passing to our kid?

We called a family member who works in a pediatricians office and got a second opinion and then saw another pediatrician in the office. They both recommended the same treatment and it was not what this first doctor proscribed. Suffice it to say, we won't be requesting that guy again.

Anyways we finally figured out a combination of nystatin, browned flour, lanalin, frequent washing and air out time seemed to do the trick and he's looking normal again. It turned out to be a pretty common, non-threatening problem but it's still nice to look down and not see a red, swollen penis looking back up at you. Big stress reliever. Have we mentioned babies are stressful.

Professor Garrett Stone

I just received my first email communication with the title "Dear Professor Garrett Stone..." This semester marks the first of many to come where I will be the "instructor of record;" A.k.a. the course is all mine. In the past I have guest lectured or covered for my professor but this time around I will have the class all to myself.

I'll be teaching 16 students 3 times a week for about 50 minutes a session and the course is titled "Tourism Management." We'll cover sustainable tourism, crisis management, social media management, customer service and more. While I am a little nervous I am excited to make the course my own, practice and refine my teaching skills, and probably learn a heck of a lot more than any of my students. While I will be borrowing a syllabus and content from my adviser I am really looking forward to making the course my own, growing into my own teaching style, and stepping out of my comfort zone. Here's to a career of teaching!

The Best Christmas Gift Ever (Besides the Savior and our first born child of course)!!

Michelle outdid herself this year with two gifts that rocked my emotions (exquisite joy on one end of the spectrum and extreme anxiety on the other)!

As we sat down around the tree, giddy with excitement, Michelle handed me the first gift. The large bag was full of tissue paper and at the bottom, there was a small red card with a typed inscription that read:

                    "Good morning my dear and Merry Christmas to you

                    This gift is the start of clue after clue

                    Almost a crossword and scarce on the rhymes,

                    Prepare for a stretch of detective work time!?

Before I go on, I have to pause and say that Michelle is the most thoughtful, creative, woman I know. She invests more of her time and of her self into the gifts she gives than anyone I know. I can't tell you how many hours she spent assembling this gift and others that she gave this year and years past but I will say that by the time I reached the gift I was a little teary eyed and very full of love. Anyways, attached to the inscription was a clue:

                   Clue #1: Greens Crisper

While I like to think I am good at puzzles and games (I love the NY Times crosswords, and am a sudoku champ), the very first clue had me stumped and I definitely had to play a little "hot and cold" to get to it. "Crispers" was the brand on the vegetable drawer in our fridge. >Tangent, as I read this outloud to Michelle she said "It's just called a crisper drawer on any fridge." Duh Garrett, get with it. :)

Michelle may have forgotten that I visit that drawer somewhat infrequently but she patiently guided me to the next clue:

                   Clue #2 Natural luminescence

Now this one was much easier. Can you guess? A window of course. The bedroom window to be precise. 

As you can see, Michelle gleefully documented my hunt, laughing along the way as I stumbled over clues and exclaimed in surprise as I found each one. At the window I found the following clue: 

                   Clue #3 Do not immerse!

At first this one had me stumped. I thought, the bathtub? The baby, don't immerse the baby in the bath tub? Michelle gave me that look that says, slow down turbo. She then gave me a hint that I had often expressed related to this clue. I instantly remembered, 'The hair dyer' of course. 

I always fear that when Michelle sets the hairdryer down in (not on) the sink (empty of course) when she is done (still plugged in but not running) that she is going to get electrocuted (what an awkward word to spell). Hence, don't immerse.  

                    Clue #4 American Anorak

Your guess was as good as mine with this one. I racked my brain and couldn't think of anything. Was this another word for a flag. American flag? Nope. Michelle, seeing my consternation said I could use google for this one. 

An anorak is a basically a warm winter coat. 

In the pocket of my coat I found the following: 

                    Clue #5 I suck at work

At first I thought this was some sort of criticism of my work or perhaps an act of self-deprecation on Michelle's part but then I thought: I know! The vacuum! It sucks while it works. 

And the next clue:

                    Clue #6 Osculation

Not to be confused with oscillation or oculation (not a real word but I thought it was; the word is inoculation). I had to look this one up as well and was confused when I did. 

Here's what google gave me: 

               There is also a mathematical definition of osculate, which is almost like a math                    kiss: when two surfaces or two curves touch in at least three points. The Latin root                word is osculum, kiss, or literally little mouth.

I am a little slow to the up take so I thought. Math? Geometry? And then I started to make progress, or so I thought...'where do two curves meet?' A butt? No. The key here is the second part of the definition...kiss! I kissed my beautiful wife and another clue materialized out of her pocket.What a treat!

                      Clue #7 Garment Locker

This was another easy one. Clothes, obviously, and fortunately we only have one dresser, relying on boxes and bins for our other clothes. To the closet!

On top of the dresser I read the following:

                     Clue #8 Changed frequently on a bottom

Having changed hundreds of diapers over the last three and a half months, this was probably the easiest of the clues, though actually finding the next clue in the mess of diapers (in the dark room while Anderson napped) was another story. 

Michelle was kind enough to retrieve this clue for me.  

                     Clue #9 Full Length for one

This clue could have gone in a NY Times crossword puzzle and most certainly had me stumped. I've heard Michelle use this word dozens of times but kept getting stuck on the word movie. The operative word here was mirror. Full length mirror. 

On the mirror I read: 

                     Clue #10 O after X

I was a little quicker on the up take here and quickly hugged my wife. Soon another clue magically appeared in her hands. 

                    Clue #11 Pooh's Love

Pooh? Like poop. Poop? Winnie the pooh! Honey. Yes that is exactly how my mind works. 

On the honey jar, I found this:  

                    Clue #12 Tangible laptop output

Printer! Done! The clue was the easy part. Slinking sneakily past our sleeping baby was the challenge. 

                    Clue #13 Beauty Consultant on the wall

Another mirror!  

Can you see what I see reflecting in the mirror? The mirror clue was the second to last and another doozy. 

                    Clue #14 I get damp as I dry

I struggled through this one as well, and definitely got hung up on the word damp. Dishwasher, washing machine, tub, sink...uhhhhh...with Michelle's coaxing I was able to finally guess towels (such a clever woman) and found what appeared to be the last clue.  

                   

This one said:          

                  "Congratulations my dear, you've come pretty far

                    But there's still a bit of work before you're the star

                    Oh the places we've gone, oh the places we'll go,

                   This is where we muse on which roads we'll soon know"

                  

                   Clue #15 ____ Talk

I know this one! PILLOW talk! I ran to the bedroom unsure of what I would find, peeled back the blankets and saw a large framed object face down on the bed. 

I suspected what it might be and was thrilled to turn it over and see a beautiful aged world map. Something I had been wanting for ages. We had talked about pinning all the places we'd been and would like to go but hadn't gotten around to getting the map. I was so ecstatic! I began to tear up a little (I know I am a softy...she worked so hard on putting together such a fun, creative trail, showing that she knew me so well, and culminating in a gift that she made, in part). We embraced and I just sat and held my wonderful wife. And to think, this was just the first gift. Merry Christmas Michelle! I love you so much.

Oh ya, the other gift. The last gift I received for Christmas made my cortisol levels and adrenaline spike (Michelle realized after the matter that she should have reordered the gifts so I didn't end with heart palpitations). I opened the box and found within it the same pink, pencil length box I had opened last year when I found out Michelle was pregnant. I chuckled and acted like I knew this was just a joke but my heart was racing and palms sweating as I opened the box and saw not one but two pregnancy tests. To this day, I still don't know how to read or interpret those tests so I looked up at Michelle, a little too wide eyed and said "Wait, so this is negative right?" It was negative (no baby) and if it weren't I would have been able to appreciate and celebrate the news after I woke up from passing out a few hours later. However, I think one little man is enough for me for the next little while. Way to start and end with a bang my dear. :) 

Dear Little Man 12/25/2015

My Sweet Little Man,

I've been meaning to start writing these little letters to you, documenting your advancements, quirks, and happenings. Most recently you've developed greater eye/hand coordination. As in, once something is in your hands, it goes directly to your mouth. You are also doing better with tummy time and developing your arm muscles. For the longest time you HATED tummy time. You developed neck strength early on, but had a hard time utilizing your arms for support. Because of your neck and head control, we were able to start holding and propping you upright at about 6 weeks. We got a bouncer for you at about 2 months, and you've taken off. You LOVE your bouncer. It is hilarious to watch you careen side to side with bounding marshmallow steps, or to spring, both feet in the hair, several inches off the ground like a Highland dancer (I should know!!!). I feel sorry for our downstairs neighbors, but they haven't said anything yet. And you are developing some incredible leg strength, so we'll continue to let you explore and challenge yourself. It's so fun to see your interest in the world around you and your desire to be involved and hands on. You are such a strong, sweet, and inquisitive little boy and we love you so much!

You've also started growing out fuzzy hair again. You were born with what the midwife called a "rat tail" (I found this highly unflattering but had to agree). You had some light reddish hair all over your head but it was about an inch longer and darker in the back. The back kept growing, so I took the liberty of shaving it. Twice, in fact. And then when you were about two weeks old I gave you a bath that washed your adorable little fuzzy hair off. I was devastated the rest of the day. You had an adorable fuzzy little old man cul-de-sac before you grew the faintest fuzz on your head. It stayed like that for a few months, until just a few weeks ago (the beginning of December) when your hair started growing. It's now about a centimeter long and I LOVE rubbing my face on your head. Which inevitably leads to smooching your adorable cheeks. You, my child, have the most smoochable chubby cheeks I've ever seen. I kiss you more often than I smooch your Father, and that's saying something! Your hair initially came in a blondish red, and I think you're trending more toward blonde now. We're excited to see how your coloring will progress. 

You began smiling real smiles (as opposed to gassy/dream smiles) the last week of September, and began regularly smiling in earnest the last weeks of October. You have the cutest wide mouthed, gummy smiles. Your first laugh was around the middle of November, and you began laughing more regularly the first weeks of December. You often laugh and cry at the same time when you're tired and it's again, just adorable. You are most ready to laugh when you first wake up and we keep you on your back in your crib. You like hearing me say "bugaboo" and dad say "chicken tikka masala". I'm pretty sure you just like it when we talk really close to your face and make faces of our own at you.

You are also a heavy little dude! You've been off the charts since you were a month old. At 3.5 months, you are just under 19 lbs and 25" long. Most people assume you are around 6 months old. The Pediatric GI doc called you Godzilla and just laughed and laughed when he saw your adorable chunky thighs. We love your rolls, but they are quite the challenge to clean at night and during your bath! You also have my feet. You are able to flex your feet and toes individually. It makes trimming nails a little more challenging. We are also pretty sure you're teething, since you launch toward things and start gnawing on them ravenously (even shortly after feeding). And Little Man, you have quite the jaw strength! 

One huge improvement that your daddy and I have been working on is sleep training. We read so many books with different ideas and theories, but eventually we found that letting you cry at graduated intervals has been the most successful and gentle for all of us. You are so much happier when you sleep! And consequently, so am I. Last night you slept from 8pm to 4am, with only some minor squawking throughout the night. AND we can now put you straight to bed without getting you to sleep first. We just lay you down awake, and you're usually quiet and asleep in five minutes or less. What. A. Blessing! 

Most of all, I love how you gaze at your Papa and me. You melt our hearts. And as frustrating as working on your sleep schedule has been, all it takes is a steady gaze and smile from you to melt us. We love you. So. Stinking. Much.

Smooch!

Christmas Eve, Eve

As our family continues to grow we often find ourselves thinking about what routines, rituals, and traditions we want to incorporate into our lives. As Christmas approaches traditions have been especially prominent in our minds. A few things we really love to do around Christmas are: drive around and look at Christmas lights (we miss temple square in Salt Lake City!!), make yummy treats, serve in the ward and community, read Christmas stories (thanks to Gerry and Janice for sharing a binder full of them), and sit by our cozy netflix fire while we open gifts or watch a Christmas classic.

With Christmas only a few days away, we've made good progress. Surprisingly, Christmas lights are hard to find in residential neighborhoods around here, and we are not inclined to spend $20 to go drive down an overly decorated street or raceway that resembles a blend of Disney's "Its a small world" and the Vegas strip on steroids. However, as were searching for things to do in the area we stumbled across a little Bavarian themed town called Helen (about an hour and fifteen minutes from us) that was decorated for Christmas and full of eateries, chocolateries and so on.   Here are a few shots from our trip.

                             

As an aside, Anderson has become increasingly more fussy in the car and we can hardly drive an hour before he is whooping and hollering in t he backseat. Most drives get extended because he only seems to want to eat when he is starving, even if mom offers at an earlier time. Our pleasant drive through the mountains of Georgia was slightly marred by the sound of the screeching eels in back.

Together, we decided we would cook three of our favorite treats that we don't often make: Lemon bars, Walnut Squares, and Muddie Buddies. We also decided to get a little more frugal and creative about our Christmas decor. See our escapades captured on camera below.

               

Santa Clause v. The Tooth Fairy

Remember that time we said we were going to be really diligent about updating our blog...

Rather than try to play catch up on all that we haven't documented since our last post I am just going to post about our morning today. We just got back from the pediatric dentist (aka the Tooth fairy in our title) where Anderson had has frenectomy done. What is a frenectomy (aka frenulectomy, frenotomy) you ask? It is when your lip or tongue are 'tied' via extra skin to your mouth which limits mobility of the lip or tongue and you have that tie cut or freed up. In our case, his tongue and lip were tied which was affecting his ability to breastfeed, keep in a pacifier, and otherwise control his flat flabby tongue. Our visit today was actually a follow up appointment to ensure that everything healed appropriately, didn't re-tie, etc.

To our surprise they had a Santa in the office waiting room which was a stroke of sheer brilliance for a place that is super busy right before the holidays. It was fun to watch each new kid walk into the office and yell 'Santa' with a grin. That said, Michelle and I both actually have mild fear/aversions to Santa Clauses so we sat across the room from him and didn't approach, disregarding the open seats next to him. He did his job well of course and came over to give Anderson attention. Anderson decided that he was still tired and would much rather try to fall back asleep then entertain Santa. When Santa asked if Anderson wanted to have a picture with him, he spit up all over himself (he must have inherited our Santa aversion).

After we cleaned him up we did in fact get a picture of Anderson with Santa. Despite our disliking of Santa's helpers, we have to admit this was hands down one of the best Santa's we've seen (see below). He had a great suit, amazing Santa voice, and was just invasive enough to be pleasant but not overbearing. He also was appropriately handing out toothbrushes (it is a dental office after all) and little bells (harking to the 'believe' concept from the film the Polar Express).

 

Side note, how do you make small talk with a Santa? Do you ask about his 'real life' or do you ask about what part of the world he will be traveling to next and what he feeds his reindeer? We didn't know the answer to that question so we sat in awkward silence and avoided eye contact, which of course encouraged an impromptu singing of a Christmas carol by Santa. Perhaps he needs a nice Christmas book to keep him busy in between pictures with patients...

Returning to the purpose of our post, our visit went well and, as it turns out, Anderson healed perfectly. On to the next great oral adventure—teething!

Labor & Delivery

Michelle gave birth to Anderson only a week ago and yet I feel like the memory of that moment is already slipping away and it scares me to death. I tell Michelle that it's a tender mercy that she forgets the pain of labor and delivery (one that God bestows upon all women) otherwise she wouldn't want to have more kids (smirk, chuckle).  That said, I want to record as much as I can about that experience while I still have it fresh in my mind. No words can convey the poignancy of the emotions we both felt that day; the sympathy, the joy, the pain, the awe. I think I likely experienced charity, the pure love of Christ, that day, for the first time in my life and really knew, in those moments, what it meant to call God, Father.

I'm grateful to Garrett for getting this project started! Between recovering, feeding baby, changing baby, and sleeping, the thought of recording this series of events seemed a little too daunting. However, my memories of the recent days are also fading away, and as one of the most impactful times of my life, I want to make sure it's documented. 

I think I will start with labor-eve and let Michelle interject as she pleases (in italics). Baby was officially due on August 27th, 2015, however, the date we calculated, the date the midwives calculated, and the date the ultrasound determined were all different from one another. As of Wednesday September 2nd, Anderson was a late arrival. I often wondered (not knowing the doctrinal precision of my query) if perhaps his pre-mortal stay had been extended so that he could visit with Grandpa Christensen, who had recently passed. The thought of such a reunion softens my eyes. We knew of course that Anderson could safely come as much as two weeks late but I was ready for him to come out and Michelle was fed up with carrying the extra weight and the discomfort that accompanies it. That week we tried every natural inducement technique that we could think of: walking, swimming, sex, stimulation of the breasts—the list goes on and on (guess which technique I enjoyed the most—you guessed it, I am an avid swimmer—wink, wink). Finally on Wednesday, a week past the due date, we scheduled an appointment to have the midwives verify that all was well and to have them 'sweep' Michelle's membranes, which is also supposed to help bring baby along. The midwife told Michelle that the pain she experienced during the sweep was akin to a contraction (because we didn't think she had been having any to that point). Boy was she wrong; they were much worse, for Michelle at least. To seal the deal and coax Anderson out even further, we pulled out our ace in the hole, and had Michelle drink castor oil. We disguised it in a rootbeer float of course (because it tastes disgusting) and she could hardly taste it.

As Garrett said, the midwives (who operate out of Greenville Memorial Hospital 45 minutes away) allow most of their patients to go two weeks past term before they medically induce. This is a quality that I really appreciated, since due dates are more often guess dates. My pregnancy was low-risk and Anderson and I were developing properly. At 37 weeks one of the midwives cheerfully informed me that everything was perfect and Anderson could come any time and be just fine. So naturally we kicked into "he's coming tomorrow!!!" mode. Unfortunately, this was premature enthusiasm on our (my) part. It was probably a good thing though, since it gave us time to cook a few more freezer meals, finish up some home projects, and finish up the nursery. On August 27th (Anderson's expected due date) we had an appointment. The midwife asked if I wanted a pelvic exam to see how things were progressing. I'd been able to tell that I was dilating and effacing, so we decided to wait until the following week. We scheduled an appointment for the following wednesday for a non-stress test just to make sure his heart beat and vitals were good, and with the possibility of doing a membrane sweep. As Garrett mentioned, we'd done nearly everything possible to help things along. Up until delivery time I'd been yoga-ing and kickboxing and swimming and walking. Eating a lot of mango, pineapple, and fiber, eating our normal diet of fairly spicy foods (ginger, cayenne, oregano, etc), and had continued our regular intimate activity. ***I should say now that this post will be very open and may be too much information for some readers. We'll strive to address each incident with tact and frankness :)

The Non-Stress Test (NST) took about 20 minutes and showed that everything was normal and healthy for both of us. I hadn't really felt any contractions up to that point, at least that I was able to recognize as contractions. Early in June we left for a family reunion to Utah and when we came back the temperature had jumped nearly 15 degrees. Back then I had some odd tightening sensations of the belly, but they hadn't continued. I had however, felt some minor cramping. When the midwife (Barb) read the results, she said I was having several minor contractions. At this point I had a lightbulb moment; contractions for me are basically cramps akin to menstrual cramps. And I'd been having them for weeks. Yay! We then proceeded to the exam room where she asked if I wanted the membrane sweep. I gave my affirmation; I would rather strip the membranes that day and again the following week than have to medically induce the following week and have a possible slippery slope of medical interventions. As Garrett indicated, the stripping was pretty uncomfortable, similar to a really bad cramp. And they were similar to my later contractions, but only up to transition. Throughout the day I could tell that things were shifting and happening, but then things slowed down toward the evening. Barb told me it was okay to take a castor oil cocktail (puuuuke) which has a laxative effect and is supposed to trigger uterine contractions, but I wasn't thrilled with the most popular recipe floating around (apricot nectar, champagne, castor oil, and almond butter). Garrett and I were craving root beer floats, so we decided to grab the fixings on our way home. I wanted to make sure I wasn't taking too much (just google castor oil as a pregnancy laxative- yikes!), so I did a fraction of the dose (1 TBS) and had garrett layer it in a rootbeer float so I wouldn't even be able to smell the castor during preparation. Just to be clear, I'd highly recommend a rootbeer float as the vehicle for castor oil! I could hardly taste or smell the castor. Throughout the night I had brief and periodic cramping, and had only slightly more trips to the bathroom to clear things out. I'm not sure if I can truly attribute this to the castor oil or to my pregnant body preparing itself to expel a baby. 

The next morning, September 3rd, Michelle woke up at 5:00am with contractions. By 8:00am she started having contractions that were about five minutes apart and that caused her to audibly moan and struggle to communicate. We called the midwives and they reminded us that first time moms were often slower in coming and that Michelle still had time before she needed to come in. Because they said they didn't want to have to send us home or have us wait in the parking lot, we were instructed to wait an hour and check in again. After 30 minutes the contractions were three minutes apart so we felt it prudent to call again and start packing the car. The midwives agreed and we were on our way.

At five o'clock I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. The cramps were coming about every 15 minutes, so I decided to just stay up and get ready for the day. I ate breakfast, showered, got a bunch of stuff ready, and woke Garrett up by 6. At this point the contractions were right around 6 minutes apart, and we decided that it would be good to start getting our things together. Gradually the contractions intensified, and I laid on the bed with my hypno-sound tracks. Garrett held my hand and continued to time my contractions. I was also having an irrational urge to cry.... about nothing. I wasn't worried, I wasn't afraid, and I was remarkably calm, but I just had the irritating urge to cry. At about 7:45 we called the on-call midwife, Susan, who suggested we wait a little longer. Gotta be honest, I was pretty annoyed at this point. I know a lot of people go in prematurely, but by this point I was having to squat and focus strongly during my contractions. We gave it another 30 minutes, at which point my contractions were about three minutes apart and I called in again. The receptionist answered and I gave my information. She asked how far away we lived, spoke briefly with Susan, and then suggested that we come in "quickly" since I was progressing rapidly. By 8:45 we were in the car with a bunch of pillows, my ipod, and our bags.

Michelle is a faster driver than me and I often feel that had I ever dreamt of driving NASCAR, my experience with Michelle was the Lord's way of fulfilling that dream. Today it was my turn to fly down the road. Our area is notorious for poorly designed, two lane highways and poor drivers to match them. We often would agonize over 15 minute drives where vehicles would be going 10 under the speed limit or block both lanes of traffic, totally oblivious to the lines of cars building up behind them. With this in mind I was ready to lay my horn to them all and kiss a few bumpers if need be (though this didn't end up being required). I weaved in and out of traffic like lightning McQueen, trying to stay at least 20 over the speed limit with my high beams on a constant flicker. The Lord blessed us with drivers who paid attention and who moved out of my way. Michelle was in such pain that when we got to a few traffic lights driving through Easley she thought a police escort would be in order. She called. They passed her through three different branches and by the time she was telling the EMTs she didn't need an ambulance, she needed an escort (for the second time), we were just passed the worst of the traffic and minutes away from the birthing center. If nothing else it was a good distraction for her to call the police and I was glad we had her hypnobabies soundtrack playing while she faced the passenger window, not the road ahead.

Garrett was phenomenal that day. Well, he's phenomenal all the time, but especially through pregnancy and ESPECIALLY during labor and delivery. I so appreciated his calm, strength, and support. 

 The drive was the one part of delivery I'd been worried about in the weeks leading up to the big event. Most of the roads here are two lanes and although there are laws and signs indicating that slower traffic is to keep right/keep right except to pass, it is irritatingly routine for drivers to poke along in whatever lane they please. Even going 15 miles under the posted speed limit. There's a city in between our home and the birthing center that gets really clogged up. It isn't unusual for drivers to crawl along at 30mph when the posted speed is 45 (my preferred speed is 50). I'm glad that labor was far enough advanced that I, for the most part, felt a greater need to zone out to my soundtrack than be watching traffic. I'm also surprised that traffic moved over so easily for Garrett. Tender mercies!

It was good that we left when we did because when we arrived (faster than any time prior I might add—patting myself on the back and saying a prayer of gratitude) things began to progress quickly. Michelle was dilated from the 2cms on Wednesday to 6cms and they triaged her downstairs immediately. Susan (nurse-midwife) and Katrice (clinical director, nurse) were to be our companions through this process, although Susan was replaced by Samantha, a switch we both were pleased with (because Susan had one of those big grins on her face and was speaking like a kindergarten teacher as if we were five—this wasn't going to fly). Katrice was a Godsend. She was with us from the moment we arrived to the late hours of the evening when we left and both she and Samantha acted as wise witnesses, only interjecting when needed, seeing things that we could not. For example, at one point Michelle was experiencing substantial back pain and Katrice kindly let her know she was going to apply some pressure to Michelle's lower back, which instantly addressed the issue.

During our office visits, I'd been really impressed with Susan. Samantha had seemed okay, but we hadn't really clicked. So, I was surprised when Susan's chipper demeanor began to wear on me. That day was unexpectedly busy for the midwives, so I was not bothered when Susan had to leave for another delivery and Samantha took her position. Funny enough, I'd found Katrice to be mildly obnoxious in our office visits as well, but I LOVED her attitude and approach during the delivery. Goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover.... nor can you accurately gauge in advance what/who will be an ideal presence during delivery. I loved that I was able to do my own thing during labor, while Katrice would crouch on the floor with mobile equipment to monitor my and baby's heartbeats. During another more lucid moment, I realized Samantha was sitting cross-legged on the floor with a flashlight (we had the lights dimmed) so she could see and do what she needed while still allowing me the most comfortable position possible. 

I love that Garrett, despite probably being exhausted himself, was such an active and integral part of this process. Having him close and supportive (literally!!!) was so calming for me. I had no fear that day, and despite the strange things going on in my body, felt calm and supported.  

Labor continued from about 9:45am when we arrived to 1:49pm when Anderson was delivered. We started with Michelle crouching by the bed, moved to the tub (Michelle had considered a water birth) which was surprisingly uncomfortable and reverted back to the bed. Katrice also helped set up our hypnobabies soundtrack which ended up filling the void between contractions as Michelle recovered. At one point, the hypnobaby soundtrack played one of its typical lines "your baby will easily flow down into the canal, easy, calm, confident" or something to that affect and Michelle yelled out something like "that is not true, this is not easy." To which we all laughed of course, but not so that she could hear us. One of the worst parts of labor aside from the pain was that Michelle was nauseous. She hates retching and vomiting. I think I unwittingly said, at least vomiting is better than retching (true for me) to which she assuredly said, "no, it is not" with daggers in her eyes that quickly abated with the oncoming contraction.

I was really glad that we prepared for a natural childbirth with hypnobabies. I will say I think other "brands" of hypnobirthing might have been more effective for me, but I appreciate the relaxation and meditative skills I gained. Through relaxation, I was able to have some of the best naps during pregnancy I've ever had! I also appreciated the tracks and coaching during earlier labor, and the calm background sounds after transition. However, once I hit transition (I'm a thrower-upper unfortunately...), I no longer found the self-hypnosis to be useful/usable. Garrett was able to use some of the techniques that he, as the birthing partner, learned through the hypno course. This was probably the most helpful of everything, since he was able to coach me and remind me to breathe during contractions, and encourage me to relax in effective ways. I was able to relax most of my body, but I can't tell my uterus to stop contracting so intensely! I do think, however, that my ability to relax and focus on breathing through the contractions allowed my body to and uterus to function as they were designed, rather than tensing and freezing up in a counter-productive way. Still, labor was not a comfortable or relaxing process. 

As labor progressed, Michelle became increasingly more preoccupied with contractions (huh, odd) and less able to express exactly what she needed, so Katrice brought in a birthing ball and stools and suggested we use them. Michelle started on a stool facing the bed but soon switched to sitting across from me while I sat on another stool. This way I could speak into her ear "good, relax, release, you are doing so good...breaaaatthhhh" (all the practiced hypno lines) and so that she could lean against and squeeze me. We sat like this for the next few hours with Michelle sitting upright breathing in between contractions and then leaning forward into me, sweating, with Katrice massaging her lower back when the 'birthing waves' came. I was so pleased to be so involved and to be the anchor that she would lean upon during this time. My one goal throughout the labor was to not be in the way, to not pass out, and to not annoy Michelle...I think I succeeded. During one of these intervals Michelle nearly dove forward burying her lips into my neck, kissing it so tenderly. It was a single, surprising, special moment. Throughout this process I would describe myself as focused (during contractions) and endeared (during the breaks). I couldn't help but smile as I knew what was coming and saw how strong and beautiful Michelle was.

While our birthing ball at home was very helpful for the first few hours of labor, the thought of additional pressure on my pelvis in active labor made me cringe. The birthing stools however, were AMAZING. For the first few hours anyway. It was during this time that I hit transition (lots of throwing up), and things became a little more fuzzy as I just tried to focus on the contractions. As Garrett mentioned, at one point I just leaned into him and started smooching up his neck. Not sure why, but it was comforting for both of us. And again, I'm so thankful Garrett was so active and present and supportive! As exhausted as I was, I realize that sitting on a birthing stool (designed for laboring women, not men) while supporting my weight would have been so tiring for him, but he was a stalwart trooper!

Additionally, we prepared ourselves for a natural childbirth. The birthing center does not even carry materials to give an epidural (though the midwives are happy to delivery your baby across the street in the hospital if you feel an epidural is the best course for you). I'm so glad we decided to go natural, although I definitely can't say it's for everyone. I've come to realize that had I not had access to these resources and midwives I don't think I would have been able to deliver naturally. However, at no point during our adventure did I feel a need for an epidural or to escape the pain. I DEFINITELY acknowledged it and lamented at how long things felt, but never did an epidural even cross my mind. Again, birth is such an empowering experience, second only to getting sealed to my eternal manfriend for the eternities.  

One of Michelle's frequent concerns was that it felt like she had a constant bowel movement, which sometimes she probably did (fortunately we had towels beneath us to take care of that). She had been told that giving birth was like trying to pass a bowling ball. She did not really believe this until the moment to deliver arrived. In fact, it appeared to her that baby was coming out of her rectum, not her vagina though the midwives assured us both this was not the case, and that the inclination to use restroom was a sign that baby was moving along. Every time Michelle would say she thought she had a bowel movement the nurse would say something like "good, you may have, you may not have, either way it means the baby is working his way down." They never disagreed or criticized, just offered alternatives and support. Finally, as Michelle got to a point where she was getting so tired she felt she could no longer push and she couldn't hardly keep herself up in the stool. When asked is she'd like to move she couldn't say so Samantha kindly said, "Michelle, you can hardly keep yourself up in that chair, I am worried you are going to fall out of it so I think we should move you to the bed." Michelle appreciated this approach as much as I did and we both obliged.

Have I mentioned Katrice and Sam were amazing? They were. 

I knew before labor that modesty and propriety tend to go out the window, and that body fluids and by-products are normal. It didn't take long at all for me to not care that I was squatting and grunting with hardly a stitch of clothing on, but for some reason the intense rectal pressure and concern of a bowel movement was very preoccupying for me. I'm still not positive whether I did or not, but I'm glad for the abundance of towels and pads that Katrice and Sam came equipped with. 

Katrice was really great at ascertaining what I might need, even when I wasn't able to think or vocalize. My low back and hips were cramping up severely while I was sitting on the stool, and Katrice applied counter-pressure without asking. When I became so tired I began falling forward into Garrett, asleep, in between contractions, Samantha firmly (and kindly) suggested we move to the bed. After the next contraction, we relocated to the bed with Garrett leaning against the headboard with a pillow and my head in his lap, me on my left side with a pillow against my back, Sam at the foot of the bed, and Katrice all over the place.  

We moved to the bed with Michelle lying on her left side, legs apart, while I set against the headboard behind her. She clenched my left wrist in one hand and the same shoulder in the other. Soon after moving to the bed the real contractions and pushing began. With every push Michelle would yell like she never had before and squeeze my hand and shoulder until the bones beneath them began to break (just kidding, she is very strong though). Katrice held her legs up so that she could focus all her remaining energy on pushing. Finally, Samantha indicated that she could see Anderson's head. It took a few more pushes to get him settled in the birth canal (he tended to sneak out and then retreat up to that point) and to the point where Michelle could reach down and touch skin that was not her own. Michelle had prepared well and pushed well to avoid any vaginal tearing but Anderson hadn't been informed of that so he stuck his hand up by his head which then caused extra stretching and a mild tear. Michelle was so ready to have that baby out that she pushed with all her might and hardly noticed when the nurse, midwife, and I were yelling at her to stop for a minute. Finally she heard, stopped, and with one final push, our baby was brought fully into mortality. Seeing his head and body come out was the single most amazing thing I have ever seen. Michelle is the most amazing women I know. She delivered naturally, and quite fast for a first time mom, and did so fabulously.

Have I mentioned how amazing Garrett is and was? Every time a contraction came along, I would clench and tighten onto Garrett. I'm pretty sure I left finger shaped bruises on his forearms and shoulders, but he never complained or pulled away. He would lean forward next to me and encourage me along. For what seemed like hours. I'm pretty sure that him shouting in my ear is the only thing that kept me from having a severe tear.

Also. Can I just say, SO MUCH PRESSURE. I'd always expected delivery to be intense vaginal pressure (I mean, you have a football coming out!!!). But what I never realized is that all the other organs down there gets squeezed aside as the baby comes through. SO MUCH PRESSURE. By the time little man crowned, it was such a relief to have him out and in an area I could control his speed a little more. Unfortunately, once I felt him give a little bit I wanted to get him out. The nice thing about delivery is that I couldn't feel myself tearing. People always talk about how terrible tearing is, but it's only the recovery that isn't fun. (Not that the tearing process is fun either...)

I've always had a hard time shouting and screaming (my diaphragm must be weak and screaming kills my voice), but the wails just came out of nowhere during delivery. It almost felt like I couldn't muster the energy for pushing without the yells. Kind of like watching the caber-toss at a Highland games. No one tosses without crazy yells. 

The midwife immediately lobbed baby onto Michelle's chest, where he sat for most of the day, getting his "skin-to-skin" time with mom to help facilitate healthy breastfeeding and a good bond. He was a little swollen and purple but he was beautiful, and he was ours. I was able to cut the cord which was a lot tougher than expected. As a side note, I have to say that I am normally very queasy. I passed out donating plasma at the Provo South Plasma Center and nearly did so when I had a mole removed. The sight of needles and blood makes me cringe a little. HOWEVER, I did not once even come close to passing out. I was right there in the mix of the blood, sweat, and body fluids, I cut the cord, and I watched as baby's head emerged. The lord blessed me to be able to worry about Michelle and not myself. The great ironies are that later Michelle would pass out twice and that when I was born, my mother passed out (the one time out of the six babies she delivered).

Garrett really was great. I was pleasantly surprised that he was not a bit queasy or put off by all the fluids. I trusted that he wouldn't have any issue with passing out, but was anticipating both of us being put off by the excess of "stuff". Not at all.

It was a little surreal to see the bump that was in me for ten months dissipate into a baby. A baby with cute wrinkly skin, wrinkly fingers and toes, and a tucked in lip. It was also fun to have Garrett be able to cut the cord. 

Anderson John Stone was born 8 lbs. 6 ounces and 21 inches (same as Jack Stone, or so I am told) and became the 15th grandchild to  John and Rebecca Stone. After he was born, Michelle still hadn't delivered the placenta. She spent the next 27 minutes doing so. After 30 minutes, had it not been delivered we would have been emergency transported to the hospital. I don't know if it was appropriate, but with my hands already on her head, sitting at the head of the bead, I gave her a priesthood blessing. The words were not uttered aloud, nor was oil used but between Michelle and I all the faith and prayers we could muster were offered to ensure the placenta came out, and it did.

Have I mentioned how great Garrett is?

After that it seemed like smooth sailing. Michelle was quickly stitched up from her shallow 2nd tear (meaning it went past the first layer to the second muscle layer but was very superficial—not a bad tear by all accounts). We ate all the yummy food that Michelle had begun preparing weeks in advance (the midwives were shocked, and talked as if we had packed for the apocalypse—must have been the Mormon food storage skills). We sent out texts and pictures to family and friends. AND Anderson jumped right on to Michelle for a great first latch and feed!

So glad we had a lot of food and fluids. The birthing center was incredible. We were able to rest for several hours in a comfy queen sized bed with pillows and dim lights. The nurses came in periodically to check on us and do vitals. I was pleasantly surprised at the ease with which Anderson nursed for the first time. We've had our adventures since then, but that first latch was flawless.

Per birthing center protocol we were to be discharged only six hours after the placenta was delivered at 2:17pm which meant we'd start the process around 6:30pm. Michelle needed to go to the bathroom for real, first things first, so we sat her up and had her stand at the edge of the bed to get her bearing. She seemed okay at first but then said she felt weak. As we were about to lie her down again she started tipping toward me and the bed. I thought she was still awake and in control but she definitely was not. She had blacked out and when we turned her on her back I could see her eyes rolling and hear her light moaning and I was terrified. It looked like she had had a seizure. Fortunately a few additional nurses including Linda and Manya had arrived and were ready to help. I stuck a knee under one part of her body and hefted her up on to the bed where she quickly gained consciousness and was counseled to rest again and restore her fluids.

How annoying. 

We ate, drank, and were merry for some time before she tried again with apparent success. She was able to go to the bathroom, shower, and get dressed before she knelt down and this time expressed that she was sure she would faint. With the advanced notice, three of us were able to catch her and lie her down gently as she did in fact faint. Two times in one day meant that we would have to be non-emergency transported to the hospital. This would mean that Michelle would be taken via ambulance and Anderson and I would follow. She laid on the bathroom floor, recovering for about 30 minutes before they moved her to the bed and hooked her up to an IV.

Again, how annoying. I drank two liters of water, a liter of juice/electrolyte mix, ate carob almond squares, carrots, cheese and saltines, and a greek yogurt banana muffin. And I STILL passed out again. I am grateful I was able to make it through the bathroom and shower before going down again though, and I'm grateful Garrett was close by both times so I could just wilt against him. This is probably the stage at which the excitement of the day waned quickly. I'd really been looking forward to going home to our own bed and settling into our routine. Unfortunately, that was not to be. 

As an aside, I don't think I adequately described how great the newly built birthing center really was (beyond the excellent staff). It's comfort and quality was brought to my attention more so after being transported to the hospital. At the birthing center we had a huge tub, music and light controls, a queen sized bed that Michelle and I could both comfortably lay in and an absence of machines, the barrage of nurses, and the sick odor that often permeates a hospital room.

Seriously though. The birthing center was incredible and luxurious (nicer than a high-star hotel/ B&B). Nice tile floors, large birthing tub (big enough for three people... or one pregnant lady and hubby), comfy queen bed (a real bed), tiled bathroom with walk in shower, full kitchen (sans stove and oven). It was so soothing to have Garrett in bed beside me, with enough room for us to wiggle around and adjust so I could be comfortable. It was also nice having enough room to hold Anderson without worrying about having him slide off of me onto the floor. By contrast, hospital beds are pretty heinous. They put me into a labor and delivery room, since the recovery rooms were all occupied. And they assigned me a labor and delivery nurse. Who, after the phenomenality of the midwives, was a most lackluster presence and support (overbearing tactless bully cough cough). I was pleased with the goodies the hospital sent us home with (loads of pampers, mesh underpants for yours truly, amazing overnight pads, dermaplast, hemorrhoids pads, and some cool instant ice packs). There was also some machine that wasn't monitoring anything, but kept spewing printouts the whole night. 

Anyways, because the call for transport was non-emergent, the EMTs took over an hour to arrive. They were a perfect mix. The lead EMT was confident, loud and got down to business. His second, Van, was kind, sociable and opposite to the lead. He quickly extended his tatooed arm and turned his bald smiling head towards each of us, introducing himself in turn. I knew Michelle was in good hands and my only concern at that point was the brief separation that would occur as we journeyed over to the hospital. I found the Stork parking lot with relative ease and Anderson and I were quickly reunited with momma, and my worries were largely abated.

Despite how annoying the whole end part of the day was, I was very pleased with how everyone (up until the hospital) handled the situation. The midwives were apologetic, but firm and confident. After I asked a few questions about what could cause me to pass out, what complications might be there, etc. In short, my transport to the hospital was just to make sure that everything was okay, for me to have some tests and be monitored. Everyone was calm and at ease, and it made a potentially high-stress situation merely irritating. Although watching Garrett walk out the door to put Anderson in the car and follow us was really hard. I knew I'd see him in just a few minutes, but that separation was hard. BUT yay for a first ambulance ride! And it wasn't even dire circumstances. 

Why did Michelle faint twice? We will likely never know. She didn't lose an excess of blood, she ate and drank high nutrient and sugar dense foods. The only thing it could have been (aside from the fact that she had just birthed a small human) was something tied to the late delivery of the placenta, or that could be chalked up to red hair (the midwives at the birthing center and nurses at the hospital both seemed to share this as a legitimate possibility—huh?). I think I will stop there for now and leave a description of the hospital for another post.

It is funny that both the midwives as well as the labor and delivery nurse mentioned my "red" hair. The other thing we learned is that passing out is quite common in the recovery rooms at the hospital when women get up to shower or relieve themselves. There's a lot of shifting organs and fluids, and sometimes it messes with blood pressure. The L&D nurse also said I might just be a "light weight" who has a hard time with labor. I think that's what I decided I did. not. like her. I just delivered a human being in 7 hours without pain meds and minimal tearing, thank you very much. 

In sum, the whole labor and deliver process was overwhelming, exhausting, and easily the most elating experiences I have ever had. Our baby was born healthy and strong. Michelle performed amazingly and despite passing out was safe and being taken care of by me and competent nursing. We felt truly blessed, especially at a time when others had lost children in utero or soon after and knowing that we once worried we might not be able to have children. We thank the Lord for the beautiful and great blessing Anderson is in our lives. And that we were able to take him home with us so soon after birth.

Amen. It truly was a humbling experience and I feel we are blessed on so many accounts. While pregnancy had its ups and downs, and labor and delivery was easily the most physically challenging thing I've ever done, the whole experience was unifying and empowering. I'm full of gratitude and love, and though I can't say I'm excited to have another addition to our family any time soon, I wouldn't trade our experience for anything different.