Snotti-Potti

About two weeks ago now Michelle, Anderson, and I went to Dinner with few colleagues. The host family has two kids (about 1 and 3 years old) and the other family has a little girl who is about Anderson's age (almost 5 months now!). Dinner was delicious (taco salad spearheaded by Michelle) and the company (Duffy's and Townsend's) were great. However, the events that ensued were abysmal. Of the six adults and four children there, all but three people got sick (it's possible that we were all sick before the dinner but I suspect someone there spread the 'whatever we all had'). Fortunately Anderson and I seemed somewhat immune but Michelle and the others got hit really hard.

My adviser Lauren sounded like an old man for two weeks, the other faculty Jasmine was coughing out at a lung (and her son also, coincidentally had contracted pneumonia and was coughing till he threw up -- so sad), and Michelle was super congested to the point that some nights she would be up at 2:00am and not be able to get back to sleep (because of the blockage and pain in her sinuses).

To add insult to injury, we had a 'blizzard' (maybe five inches of snow over night that melted off within 24 hours) come through town that basically shut everything down which meant campus was closed (yay for me, boo for Michelle) and therefore the campus health center, Redfern, where we get our checkups done, was also closed. Since Redfern was out of the picture we spent an hour or two looking up and contacting 'in-network' and 'out-of-network' providers to see if anyone could see Michelle before the weekend and of course even though it was 10:00am and no snow had actually fallen yet (it wouldn't actually start until 3:00pm that afternoon) every family practice or provider in the area was closed.

I can't say that I blame them. The roads and driving here are pretty terrible under the best of circumstances and this area so rarely gets any snow that they don't have the infrastructure (salt, plows, etc.) to respond to it effectively. Our apartment complex responded proactively by salting the night before the snow was supposed to come which was great because all of the morning rain washed it off so that when things froze two days later I could slip and fall on my butt on the way to campus.

The one great thing about all of this was that I had one or two pretty flexible, low key work weeks which allowed me to be home with Anderson and Michelle more and help care for Anderson and Michelle so she could both get a break and heal. It spoiled me, so I've been trying to figure out how I can work from home more.

Michelle was sick (congested, groggy, sore throat) for nearly two weeks and we suspected everything from croup, to bronchitis, to strep but when she finally got in to Redfern to be seen it was supposedly just a bacterial thing and she was able to take a prescription (or two or three) to beat it. Her arsenal of cough drops and medications was quite impressive but the most 'fun' treatment she tried pretty regularly was the Neti-pot (which I call a Snotti-Potti). If you have never seen or used a Neti-pot (Snotti-Potti) it basically looks like a small genie lamp that you fill with a saline-water solution and then drain through one nostril and out the other. As the solution pours through the nose the snot and gunk are supposed to drain out with it. When Michelle first did it,  it looked so burny-painful and there is just something about seeing someone stand in front of the mirror with a genie lamp in there nose and a flood of snot water dripping from their nostrils into the sink that has a certain...what's the word...appeal :).

Being the good husband I am and after the tenth request from Michelle I agreed to try the Neti-pot (for empathy purposes, if nothing else). It was the worst! And I don't think I did it right/fully drained my nose/sinuses because three hours later after using it, when I bent over to plug in my phone, a flood of water came running out again. I went and blew my nose and thought for sure I had cleared everything out. But then I got in bed and rolled over to face Michelle and there it went again. Snotti-Potti! It was not fun and made me realize how much of a pain it had really been for Michelle to deal with that in addition to all that she already does for Anderson and I.

Anyways, we are all healthy and well again now, hoping for some more snow so I can cancel class and stay home. Pray for bad weather and good health. Thanks.  

Bedtime Stories

Michelle and I are avid readers and one of the things I looked forward to about being a dad, establishing bedtime routines, etc. was the chance to read to and with Anderson. I remember my mom reading to us at nights (classics like I'll Love you Forever, the Giving Tree, and as we got older The Call of the Beaver or the Hatchet) and how as a teen I would sneak out back to my hammock to escape to Hogwarts, Battle School, or Dragonmount (I'm only now realizing how much of a Harry Potter fantasy junky I was).

When I first started reading to Anderson he seemed disinterested, if not annoyed to say the least (infants, pfff). I decided to hold off on reading until he was a little more mentally, physically, and emotionally mature so his first interactions with books and reading would be positive. My patience was rewarded and now our little man loves to read his daily book with dad. I think what he enjoys most about it is hearing the inflections of my voice and having me sit or lay beside him as I turn the pages. He often will look at me more than he looks at the book and smiles when I turn to face him as I read from the pages of some of my favorite texts.

I've become a big Jon Muth fan. The themes and illustrations in his books are fantastic and based in his experiences living among and learning from monks and zen masters. Thus, each story has a lesson and there is almost always a wise teacher character to be learned from. I highly recommend his books Stone Soup, Zen Ghosts, and Zen Shorts (among others).

As an afterthought, I know computers, cell phones, etc. are a huge part of our lives and will inevitably have a greater hold in the lives of Anderson and his peers than they ever have in ours (despite our best efforts to help him moderate their use), but I hope he learns first to read, imagine, and enjoy some of the more tangible aspects of books and life before linking into the virtual world. Here's my prayer for you Anderson: learn to love reading printed books, to play outside, and to build real social connections.

Love Dad

The Nursing Saga

This post has been a long (long long long long) time in the works. Now that we've progressed through most of the frustrations, I find that I am more inclined to actually document the experience even though the lapsed time has allowed the passions and frustrations to fade. As with many of the pregnancy/post partum posts, this will be very open and frank about my experience. In other words, it may be a little too much information for some of the readers :)

To start with, I am a huge advocate of breastfeeding. I think the benefits to mother and child are great and the breastfeeding relationship should be continued as long as is possible and appropriate. That said, breastfeeding can be hard! I knew that before having Anderson, but the intricacies of the challenges were surprising to me. Additionally, many of our challenges are a little more unusual (serious oversupply and let down, food protein sensitivities) so it was harder to find information and support. I did find KellyMom, an online nursing support platform, to be the most helpful resource.

Anderson latched on without a problem less than 30 minutes after delivery. And then he slept for hours and hours and hours, not even wanting to wake to feed. The nursing staff (at the hospital of course) was a little anxious about this, but I wish I hadn't worried so much. He was a very healthy weight and had no complications. When we got home he wanted to feed and feed and feed. He still had a great latch, but he was sucking so hard he gave me blisters. I honestly have no idea if this caused my oversupply. He was born on Thursday and my milk came in with a vengeance on Saturday. Milk typically comes in 3-5 days post-partum. I prepared lactation cookies to snack on during feedings which may have also contributed to oversupply. Any way, I had SO MUCH MILK. MILK EVERYWHERE. And apparently a little curse called a forceful letdown. In short, I had a ton of milk that came out really hard and fast. Which is hard for little Anderson to handle.

I was worried about plugged ducts and mastitis, and felt all the advice I was getting wasn't very helpful. I understand now that advice just never seems helpful when you have unique problems. It seemed that if I manually massaged the plugged ducts to break them up, it increased my supply. Taking warm shower increased my supply. Eating oatmeal and flax increased my supply. etc etc etc.

My breasts were so swollen and painful that I ended up pumping a little off the top each day. Yes, pumping can increase supply, but I started with a massive supply and figured I'd rather deal with continued oversupply than mastitis.

After a couple of weeks I was pumping around 30 ounces a day in addition to feeding Anderson. This wasn't too bad for awhile; it allowed us to build up a freezer supply of milk and I was still recovering from delivery. However, around a month and a half it started to get old. I'd get so swollen in between pumping and feedings! I gradually dropped two pumpings and then quit cold turkey. At that point Anderson was 15 lbs and was having some crazy diapers (another post on food sensitivities is coming eventually). One of the lactation consultants/nurses at the pediatrician's office thought his diapers were caused by oversupply/feeding. Basically, he was eating a Thanksgiving meal every feed. Quitting pumping cold turkey was a little uncomfortable for a few days, but not anywhere as painful as the engorgement during the first few weeks of nursing.

Up until this point Anderson had continued to latch on beautifully (with the exception of when milk was spraying everywhere. Think lactating fountains of Italy, I kid you not. Milk spraying feet in all directions. Out of control). However, as my supply began to regulate, Anderson had more and more difficulty latching and feeding. I did tons of research and decided tongue and lip tie were likely the culprits. The pediatrician's office ascribed his issues (pulling off, diapers, arching back, discomfort, etc to reflux). So, I took Anderson in to a pediatric dentist who had a lot of experience and has performed many frenectomies. I explained what I suspected and asked her to take a look. I had previously spent HOURS researching the different methods of frenectomies and how to properly diagnose them, and had a long list of questions for the pediatrician to "test" her knowledge and experience. I was quite pleased when she answered all of the questions I had without my even asking them. When she examined Anderson, she did so properly (unlike the pediatrician!), with Anderson on my knees, feet pointed toward my stomach, and dentist at his head, looking into his mouth. She said he had a thick tongue tie as well as lip tie, and that it could definitely be affecting his nursing. *sidenote: my pediatrician said he only had a small lip tie and she can usually "snip them quickly" in the office. GAAAHHHH!!!!!

We scheduled the frenectomy for a few weeks later so the dentist could use the newer laser she was waiting on. It was a fairly quick procedure and took about a week to heal. Anderson can now keep a pacifier in, though he doesn't love them. One downside of the frenectomy is I think he developed an oral aversion at first. He didn't want anything going in his mouth. We've worked on making "mouth time" a pleasant experience for him since then, and now he loves putting everything in his mouth. Except he doesn't like sucking on pacifiers.

He is now 4.5 months old and I finally feel like nursing is the peaceful bonding time it has the potential to be. I am no longer engorged beyond belief (I'm now down to a 28J size, instead of a 32H/I and it is SO HARD to find a store that sells that size!!!! Fail Motherhood Maternity, Fail.), and while I still have a forceful letdown, it doesn't last for several minutes. Anderson is still easily distracted during feedings, but we've managed to find ways to alleviate this problem (nursing in darker rooms, waiting until he's really hungry, using a nursing cover, having a noise machine going).

AND, now that we've addressed most of his food sensitivities, things are a lot better with his diapers. For awhile it seemed like he was feeding just so he could fill a diaper. He would feed then bite down (even baby gums still hurt!) and pull as he strained his body. It was not a fun experience for anyone involved, and I remember many nursing sessions where he was hungry and crying and straining to have a bowel movement, and I was spraying milk everywhere and crying and feeling inadequate.

*sigh.

I think ultimately there were several factors that played into our struggles: oversupply and forceful letdown, food allergies and crazy bowel movements, frenectomy and latching, and time and Anderson's physiological capacity to take in larger quantities of milk.

One of the most frustrating aspects was the lack of concern from my pediatrician's office. Anderson was having 8 blowouts of mucousy green grossness a day, nursing was a struggle, and he was clearly uncomfortable. BUT he was in the 95th percentile for weight and height, so he clearly wasn't failing to thrive. His doctor seemed to assume that since he was a healthy weight, things were just fine. The thing is, I have a really high fat content in my milk, and even though he only nurses 10 minutes (max!), the forceful let down increases his intake in a short amount of time. Again, I'll write a post about his food allergies later.

BUT. We've fired the pediatrian, found a new one, addressed the bulk of his sensitivities, and given everything time. Additionally, we are not giving Anderson any reflux meds. WIN! And nursing is a bonding experience, WIN! Anderson now takes time to occasionally unlatch and just sit and smile or chatter at me before resuming feeding. And he is happy and healthy, WIN WIN WIN.

As far as supply challenges, every mother has such an individual experience. I can't imagine being in the place of a mother who struggles with undersupply and the anxiety of not being able to provide enough milk for her baby. Or struggling with inverted nipples and latch and having to use a nipple shield. But I can totally commiserate with mothers who choke their babies with too much milk, flooding their little mouths with greater quantities of food than they can handle. I understand the pain associated with plugged ducts and the worry of mastitis (though I managed to avoid that malady!). I will say, oversupply is a fairly uncommon condition and it's really hard to find helpful information. I finally did something called "block feeding", where I'd feed only from one side for a few hours, then switch to the other side. I can't pump or else my glands will kick into high gear again. And going out takes some planning. Even though we still have a massive freezer supply of milk, I have to nurse Anderson or else I'll become engorged again. I also have to be careful of what I eat- high carb foods seem to increase my supply to uncomfortable levels. I've had a cold the past week and have taken pseudoephedrine and phenylephrine without a dip in supply. I shower with a peppermint shower gel without a dip in supply. Three hundred years ago I would have been the wetnurse and fed village after village!!!

And lastly, Garrett has been amazing and supportive and wonderful through all of the nursing adventures. It's been a little hard for both of us since he can't feed Anderson the way I need too, but he's been with us every step of the way, and has done so much research to understand and get ideas to troubleshoot. Garrett also took middle of the night diaper duty after we weaned Anderson from middle of the night feedings. And to clarify, Garrett took diaper duty after I would feed Anderson each time, but also continued diaper duty after weaning. Fortunately we've gotten into a feeding routine that has mostly weaned Anderson from middle of the night soiled diapers. Garrett is a companion and parent, not just a helper and supporter. And I love him so much!

Welp. This turned into a novel. All this said, I'm going to go smooch Garrett and check Anderson's diaper :)

My Dear Little Man, 1/23/2016

My Dear Little Man,

You can officially roll both ways! Last Monday you rolled from stomach to back. Yesterday you rolled back to stomach (which took you greater effort, due to your adorable belly). You've also quickly learned how to navigate and maneuver by arching your back around while simultaneously kicking your legs against the floor. My child, you are a speedy little scooter!

We've been working on naps still. Your night time sleep has been amazing for the past week, with sleep from 7-5ish. It's come at a really good time, since I've been laid out with something nasty since Tuesday evening. Your naps though.... you are victim to the 45 minute intruder. We've been doing graduated cry-it-out through the duration of when we'd like you to get up (usually at the 2 hour naptime mark). I've also started the routine of feed-wake-sleep, in the hopes that you can learn to sleep when you're tired, without the aid of food (which sometimes causes spitups/burps) to help you sleep. We will give it several more days and see how things progress!

Yesterday was your first experience with snow. I've been sick and stayed inside, but Dad bundled you up and took you outside. He put your hand on the snow covered car and in no time you grabbed a handful and had it on the way to your mouth. Since our car isn't very clean, Dad had to quickly intercept.

AND. Your diapers continue to progress! Huzzah! Since your allergy treatments, we've pinpointed a few other sensitivities. Whenever we make homemade baked goods you have a reaction (gluten?), and nuts do the same thing. Next week I'll test out which nuts are the culprits.

We've let you try some solids the past week. We tried oatmeal at first (you were not a fan), then avocado. You took much better to the avocado. I added some salt to the next oatmeal try-out and you actually ate! We tried some sweet potato last night and it was a no-go. I'm trying to figure out a way we can get you sitting up on a chair or a flat surface of some kind (we don't have room in our apartment for a table or chairs) so you can feed yourself without making such a huge mess.

We rearranged our apartment a little bit last week. Your room was just too crowded (with a bookshelf, futon/couch, crib, desk, diaper changing station, etc etc. And we had a lot of nice space in our room. Additionally, your room is closer to the street and parked cars. And the redneck monster trucks that go roaring around without mufflers during your naptime. So. Dad measured and discovered a difference of 5". Let me tell you bud, 5" makes a huge difference in rooms! We took a few hours  last Saturday to swap furniture around. Dad and I have few enough pieces that fewer inches doesn't make a big difference. But boy, it made a huge difference for your room! Your diaper changing station doesn't share space with the closet door, which is great. We also moved the couch/futon out to the living room (and rearranged the living room to accommodate it, also an improvement) so we could move the rocking chair into your room. All in all, our apartment feels more homey, spacious, and is more conducive to our needs.

Lastly, you have been chatting and laughing more. We love it so much! And we love you!

Dear Little Man, 01/16/2016

My Dear Little Man!!!

Today you rolled over for the first time. I mean, completely by yourself. Of course it was right after I put you down for a nap in your knock off zippy sleep sack. I wondered why your crying got louder and more clear after 15 minutes, and when I went to check, you were laying there on your back! You are a devoted tummy sleeper so it will be interesting to see how/if we can train you to back sleep.

I suspect the zippy kept your arms closer to your body, which is what's prevented you from rolling before. You also have a tendency to settle into your sleep position only after squirming around a little bit. This typically entails sticking your cute little bum in the air and tucking your knees under. It would have taken only a little sideways motion from there to send you over. Excited to see how you progress!

In other news, we gave you pureed oatmeal yesterday. You did not seem to be a fan. You scrunched your face on every bite. We tried avocado again tonight and you ate a whole slice! I need to work on mashing better or pureeing since some of the chunks give you difficulty.

I had originally planned on exclusively breastfeeding until 6 mos, but you have been veeeery interested in what we are eating. I'll probably introduce pureed veggies next.

I gotta say my little feller, you are a pretty happy and chill dude. We love you!

Dear Little Man, 01/15/2016

My Dear Little Man,

I meant to write these each week.... Maybe every 2 or 3?

Noteworthy things occurring involve nearly rolling over! You are so close to rolling over both ways. When we start you out on your stomach you scrunch your legs under you and twist sideways. The only thing keeping you from flipping right over is your stabilizing arm that you keep firmly perpendicular to your body. When on your back, you like to arch back and look at what's behind you (most often and inconveniently during diaper changes). You've come so close to rolling over multiple times, but as soon as you start to tip you straighten back out. You also engage in adorable back time, where you grab your toes and try to put them in your mouth. Sometimes you do this while rolling onto your side. We've recently implemented 10-15 minutes of clothes/diaper free playtime in the morning and evenings so you can roll around without restrictions. Thank goodness we registered for a waterproof babypad!

You've become a lot more vocal as well, and it's a lot of fun to hear you chattering away and realize you are making noises at dad or me. And!!! You've become quite the little snuggle bug. ESPECIALLY when you're sleepy or have just woken up. I think this is due, in part, do your ever-increasing ability to use your hands and arms and pull things close to you. Your hair continues to grow (a blondish red color), and you have the funniest little fuzz-halo in the sun. I love rubbing my face on your head right after you've woken up. As dad would say, "Oxytocin!!!"

We've been doing some practice sitting time with you this week. After the first couple of sideways falls, you caught on pretty quick. You tend to lean forward and slightly over one knee, and seem to enjoy rolling sideways from that position.

We also introduced your first ever solid food! You've been very curious when we eat and lean forward with an open mouth. So, after doing a little research, we decided to start with oatmeal, rice, and avocado. Avocado is the only one we've actually given you, but it seemed to be a hit. We've decided to let you decide when and what to eat (within reason), and promise not to "force" new foods. BUT we are going to introduce vegetables and blander foods first, mwahaha. We'll be waiting on the sweeter fruits for awhile.

We had your four month immunizations last week and you were a champ. You cried for less than 2 minutes and resumed your "normal" schedule that day.

Speaking of schedules.... You are now sleeping 7pm-4:30/5am about 2 nights in a row. And then you wake up around 1 or 3 that third night. But it is a definite improvement from what it used to be! And you usually wake up for a nursing and quick change and then go back down for another hour or two. Naptime is a work in progress. We've adjusted you to a 3.5-4 hour schedule and are trying to figure out how to space your naps. Right now we have a 2 hour nap in the late morning and early afternoon, but flounder a bit in the late afternoon. You are not a fan of catnaps but you drag a little during that last wakeful stretch.

Lastly, we got you a new convertible carseat this week that should last you until you're 65 pounds. You seem to like it a little better; it's more padded and puts you up a little higher in the car.

We love you so much and are excited to see what things you'll be up to next.

Anderson's first....and second....and third loves

We discovered this week that Anderson may have a secret crush! He obviously has been crushing hard on his mommy (and maybe his dad as a close second) since birth but little did we know that he would have hist first sloppy wet kiss last Sunday. Her name was Avy (short for Avalanche, see below) and she just so happens to be a well-mannered dog who really likes breastmilk. While I don't personally enjoy or condone having a dog lick my face it was quite amusing to watch Avy lick the milk off of Anderson's lips (right now you, like my dad, are probably gagging a little at the thought....unless you are a major dog lover, in which case, you may be jealous). The funny thing is, Anderson was loving it too! He was giggling and opening his mouth and everything. However, I had to draw the line when he started sticking his tongue out. He's a little too young for French Kissing. 

His newest fling is a little red, black, and white caterpillar (see below). Whenever I stick it near or in his face and make smooching/kiss sounds he starts laughing hysterically. It's quite hilarious. Videos coming soon!

 

Yeast infection. Ugh.

Little man has had quite the rash for the last two weeks and until recently it was getting worse and worse. Not knowing exactly what it was or how to treat it we thought for sure we were going to have a Lance Armstrong on our hands (Lance had an orchiectomy—surgical removal of his testicle). That said we went through a variety of topical treatments and multiple pediatrician visits before we seemed to have finally hit the sweet spot.

As we have been trying different ointments, creams, and even browned 'white' flour we've had some horrifying experiences. The worst of them (in my book, Michelle may or may not agree) was our first pediatrician visit. I knew it was going to be a bad visit from the start, when it took longer than an hour for us to be seen. Then the doctor walked in and Michelle gave me the bug eyes that said, "this is the kook (crazy person) I talked to on the phone the other night" so that was fun. Apparently they had given us an incorrect name so we ended up asking for the very doctor we had hoped to avoid. He was a bit older and probably due for retirement (I have no problem with age or the experience that it typically engenders but this fella was well past his prime, doing a job that requires a little gusto and a steady hand and mind). The real problem was that he walked in and hopped straight on his computer, then proceeded to touch our son's undiagnosed genital rash with his unwashed, bare hands and then went straight back to typing on his computer. Don't worry, it gets better. He told us it was likely a yeast infection rather than a typical irritation rash and then stuck the still unwashed hand that he had fondled our yeasty kid with into his mouth and was sucking on his finger. While I was disgusted for him I couldn't help but think, where else has that hand been, who else has he been touching and what might he be passing to our kid?

We called a family member who works in a pediatricians office and got a second opinion and then saw another pediatrician in the office. They both recommended the same treatment and it was not what this first doctor proscribed. Suffice it to say, we won't be requesting that guy again.

Anyways we finally figured out a combination of nystatin, browned flour, lanalin, frequent washing and air out time seemed to do the trick and he's looking normal again. It turned out to be a pretty common, non-threatening problem but it's still nice to look down and not see a red, swollen penis looking back up at you. Big stress reliever. Have we mentioned babies are stressful.

Professor Garrett Stone

I just received my first email communication with the title "Dear Professor Garrett Stone..." This semester marks the first of many to come where I will be the "instructor of record;" A.k.a. the course is all mine. In the past I have guest lectured or covered for my professor but this time around I will have the class all to myself.

I'll be teaching 16 students 3 times a week for about 50 minutes a session and the course is titled "Tourism Management." We'll cover sustainable tourism, crisis management, social media management, customer service and more. While I am a little nervous I am excited to make the course my own, practice and refine my teaching skills, and probably learn a heck of a lot more than any of my students. While I will be borrowing a syllabus and content from my adviser I am really looking forward to making the course my own, growing into my own teaching style, and stepping out of my comfort zone. Here's to a career of teaching!